A “big thank you”; I attended your seminar Friday 15 January 2010 over two years ago and it was the beginning of the new steps to be taken in my life not only, socially but professionally. I was skeptical, closed to change, bitter, unhappy with men/ man, divorced just one year after 15 years of marriage and very low esteem. At the seminar the speed dating was much more challenging yet fun than I expected. People that know me thought I was fine, but deep down I needed a kick start in my life and Des your seminar did just that. I call it my awakening, a time to let go and refresh my future goals with new vision. You enlightened me to how some men think; you reiterated the importance of loving thyself first and enjoying / seizing the moment without fear of criticism. I have tried out the two minute stare to a man I think I am interest in and “blow me down” it works; later that evening he came over and the conversation flowed – this action tried and tested!!. Over the past two years it has been fun, fulfilling (Social/ profess) and now that my birthday is approaching I thought that I must take the time to thank Des O Connor- the gentlemen who assisted me in turning negativity to a positive lifestyle. Hey who said life was easy… we should all take time to continually develop ourselves on both a professional and social front and leave the “baggage” behind….! If you hold on to baggage it only gets heavier… lighten your load and experience life. Thank you again Des & sorry for the length of this testimonial….! Bee – West London

Des O’Connor qualified as a driving instructor in 1997 and decided to set up Des O’Connor’s Driving School in 1999. It was one of the best driving schools in London. Des always felt that he was a “people person”
Des O’Connor was featured twice on the Richard and Judy Show on Channel four, his driving school appeared on Comic Relief as one of his instructors was teaching the singer Gareth Gates and finally Des appeared on the BBC Driving documentary MSM.Des always felt he had a passion for helping people improve their lives “I feel that some people are not aware that they have full control of their life and if they want to make massive changes in their life, THEY must change!!”

Des O’Connor qualified as a Life Coach in 2009. He has been specialising in providing Single Black Women with tools and resources to improve every area of their lives, to benefit and help them in finding and attracting the right Black Man for them.

Des O’Connor’s first Dating and Life Coaching workshop for Single Black Women was in August 2009 and 45 women attended.

Then in September 2009 another Workshop attracted another 65 and on 5 December 2009, 85 women attended! Des’s innovative all-male question panel was a great hit, with the women being able to ask the men anything they wished. This was quite a revelation for the women . . . and the men . . . AND DES!

In January and February 2010 Des held three 2009 dating/life coaching seminars called 2009 “Connecting Black People Together Forever” which brought over 250 single women to meet with over 200 good, single, black men. All three events were such a huge success that three TV shows recorded it. You can see these videos on Des’s website.

Des, what made you choose to become a life coach?

My first Workshop were held on behalf of a UK Dating company called Xfactordates. “I Can Find You The One” was for single women of all races. At this workshop there were 50 white women, 10 black women and 10 women from other races. The workshop was fulfilling and productive, however the feedback from the Black Women evidenced the need for life and dating coaching solely for the particular needs of Black Women.

Subsequently, I noticed that a lot of articles, blogs and You-Tube clips were stating that Black Women are “less likely to marry” or “will not meet a Good Black Man” because there were “not enough Black Men out there” and I totally disagreed with this. We all know of at least one Good, Single, Black Man, so why were these men not connecting with the Black Women? I conducted surveys and collated questionnaires to find out what the main problems were.

My research showed that there was a real need that was not being fulfilled. Black Women were having problems finding, attracting and keeping a Black Male Partner.

“What Were The Chances Of A Black Man Coaching Over 150 Single Black Women In A Room On How To Find The Right Black Man For Them”? I then realised that this was a worldwide problem and for whatever reasons, black women were and still are finding it difficult to find the right black man to settle down with.

I found that, with my own ethnic background and personal experiences and training, I was ideally placed to be the intermediary between Black Women and the Black Men they are seeking.

I am a dating coach, I am culturally aligned, in tune with my feminine side and I have my own personal experience of dating Black Women. Plus, I was mainly raised by my mother and sisters, which is a common bond in the lifestyle of many Black Men today.

I have a passion for making things better for people in the Black Community and I personally feel that Black Women are a tremendous influence on the community. They should be cherished, valued and educated on how to get the most out of life. They give birth to and raise our children. It is our responsibility to ensure they have support for those children to contribute to create a community that is a safer, secure and more loving place.

I also realised that there was no one providing this for single black women and even to date most of my events were sold out.

I realised that a lot of women wanted to attend my events, but did not want to be perceived as “desperate or needy”. So I decided to bring my workshop to them, so that no one would know they are “single”. I launched my CD called “How To Find the Right Black Man for You”.

This CD can be ordered or you can instantly download it from your PC and receive my powerful coaching tips right away.

To me it is very simple.

Every client I have, I ask them one simple question: “On a scale of 1 to 10, how much effort have you given your career, education, personal presentation and search for that Good, Black Man?” If the reply is less than ten, then there is room for improvement.

Once this has been established, we then work together in small, manageable steps to increase the chances of finding The One. The starting point is with the woman herself. We have to discover exactly what she wants and then we structure an achievable plan towards fulfilment. The woman has all the answers within herself and I simply help her to find the positive solutions in finding and attracting the right man.

Like anything in life, if you want any changes to take place, this always starts with YOU. The woman who takes immediate actions and starts to self reflect, take responsibility, work on herself, look at her environment, consider where she socialises and what type of friends she has will progress considerably and this will help her find, attract and keep the right man in her life. (Refer to Bee’s testimonial at the top of this page)

There are also a lack of opportunities for black men and women to meet each other, which doesn’t help, however I have organised dating and speed dating events in 2010 which were very successful and my next event will be on Friday May 4th 2012. Open here for more information

Life Coaching is very new in the UK but if you want to run a marathon, you hire a fitness coach. If you want your child to play football, you go to a sports coach. For Single Black Women who want to find a Good Black Man, you now have the opportunity to engage me to tutor you towards your goal.

I can show you where to find these Good, Black Men and explain what THEY want from a Black Woman, how to tailor your expectations, how to work through “issues” that are holding you back, how to improve your own self-esteem and confidence, how to identify negative and positive influences on potential relationships, how to discreetly utilise men friends as sounding boards and social contacts, the right questions to ask, how to use your femininity to improve your social skills, how to recognise if he is the right one for you. All of these techniques are subtle and subliminal so you will not embarrass yourself or your man and you will not come across as needy or desperate.

Where are all these Single, Good, Black Men?

These men are literally everywhere and every woman comes across them every day without realising it. Men go shopping, they travel on public transport, go to art galleries, the gym, parties, football matches. (Especially when Arsenal are playing!) They are everywhere, but some women just don’t realise how to recognise and attract them. That is where I step in to train and support, with advice and simple methods to vastly improve their chances of finding The One.

I am currently writing a book dedicated to Single, Black Women and have more Dating and Life coaching courses in the pipeline. All of these resources will make a positive difference to Black Women and their community. My workshops and dating events will continue to be expanded and I am dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s of my online coaching modules and other products, all of which will be launched very soon.

Des has heard so many times from Black women that “Black Men are intimidated by strong, assertive, confident black women.” So Des decided to put this to the test and held an event called “Are Black Men Intimidated by Strong Independent Black Women?”

There was a documentary on OHTV Channel 199 called Brides and Prejudice, where Des was interviewed and parts of his workshops were included in this programme, which has since aired several times.